Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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