super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize