Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I need a beard to bite.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
