Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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