I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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