remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
