with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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