How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
