while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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