"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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