after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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