I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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