i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
