i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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