Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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