You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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