Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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