I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Randomize