Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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