dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
