But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She even gives head with a lisp.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Randomize
