a queef is a wish your heart makes.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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