you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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