just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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