Yo dont text me then not text me
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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