Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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