I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
