at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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