I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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