dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
