i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
