i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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