Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize