i jhust puked up my retainher.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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