im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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