is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
