no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
