Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
