They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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