i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
