drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he fucked my hip out of place.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
