you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
