Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
