Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
