Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
