I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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