no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
