you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We were destined to go to rehab together
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
