So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
