the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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