Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
