I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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