My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
