I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
