like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
