he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
wow bdsm is so cute
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