he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
