Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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