Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
