she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
