yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
