Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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