READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
