But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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