He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
