Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize