If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
