I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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