gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I will be naked everywhere
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
