Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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