Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
