I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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