I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
and eventually we just all took our pants off
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
