fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
